newsweek says obama is gay and other fun

"I really couldn't care less about anything political, leave me alone" ~J.Nelson

Newsweek just decided to declare Obama the "First Gay President" and I don't know if they remember grade school but if they were at recess right now and Obama heard all those dudes over at Newsweek saying he was gay, he'd probably have to do something about that.

Courtesy: LATimes

I'd imagine the shit would be thrown pretty heavy over in his direction, something like:

"Yo Barry, how's about a BLOW-bama?"

or

"Hey B, heard MAD shit about you at recess. Nah dude, it's cool, sit over there"

or

"OBAMA EATS DICKS ALL DAY"

Not that it's a bad thing to be the first gay president, it'd be a milestone but I just don't know if this "Andrew Sullivan" that wrote the story realizes that Obama has WAY more "boys" to back him up now than he ever did in the school yard. I'd imagine the conversation might go a little more like this now:

Secret Service agent - "Mr. President, uh, I don't know how to break this to you, but I'll try. Newsweek said you're gay"

Pres. Obama - "OH NO THE FUCK THEY DIDN'T, I just KNEW that interview last week would get the haters out. Go get em boys, just like you got those hookers down in Colombia."

And now this Sullivan writer fella has the United States Secret Service out watching his ass. What's worse is that the Boston Edge (that can't be a real rag) is reporting that Obama takes his political advice from his teenage daughters. Basically insinuating that the president of the free world forms his political opinions around the dinner table. As if his two teenage daughters know a damn thing about a damn thing. They're teenagers, Obama ran a successful presidential campaign. That's just about the most retarded thing to think a group of advisers didn't finally win the argument last week for the "team" to make the "unofficial" move to "support" gay rights.

I'm a supporter of whoever would like to marry whomever (?) so long as I'm not personally bothered. For instance, I was personally bothered to be IN a male/female wedding recently and it wound up being, surprisingly, bothersome. If I were merely invited, it would have made no difference. It would make no difference to me if the groom were female or bride were male or a tarantula, I just don't really like getting TOO dressed up for any occasion. When you're in a wedding party, you have no choice. When you're invited, you can rock the more traditional "business casual" attire I've made so famous over the years. So "people", if you're reading this, stop making me wear clothes I don't want to wear and we're gonna get along just fine. I'm writing this now as I listen to the Jonas Brothers and pine over an ex, so keep that in mind if this came off harsh.