It's something inherently obvious when you watch interactions, but you have to pay close attention. Of course, I refer here to the way people ought to handle insults. I sling these types of things around like I'm a lunch lady and it's all you can eat pizza day so it's hard for me to miss but it may be something those of us less insulting than I may have trouble investigating.
When you're insulted you can react in different ways. You can take the insult personally and get offended that someone would ever make such a comment about how your ass looks in that sundress. It's 2021 and I'm allowed to wear what I'd like. If someone thinks I have a fat ass in my sundress, then I'm gonna shake that fat ass. Preferably in their face, because they're obviously admiring it enough to comment. I'm such a nice guy I wouldn't even charge my admirer for the booty shakes. Maybe you can see what I did there?
The other way to handle insults is the only rational way, in my opinion. Anytime anyone makes a constructive comment (insult) about me, I lean into it. Someone says I'm stupid? I ask them to teach me how to read because it's hard for me to admit that to a lot of folks. Someone says I'm incompetent? I'm the most incompetent person that's ever existed and it's actually my first day this week I had my shit together enough to even make it here and I definitely wouldn't trust me to fix whatever it is you want fixed.
This is the one thing those LARPers that call themselves improv groups have right: "yes, and". They do that thing where they agree to whatever they're pretending about and then try and come up with something to add to the bullshit on stage. This type of bullshit has no place on stage, firstly. If you're going to put on a production, put on a production. Don't invite people to your stage to watch you fuck around with your idiot friends. Sit down with those idiot friends before the audience gets there and think of something worthwhile to perform. Secondly, what a bunch of degenerate assholes, they're worse than vegans and hate being called LARPers because it stands for live action role playing and that behavior is significantly different from live action role playing on a stage because of reasons.
I think both of these activities are pointless. However, at least the actual LARPers don't make anyone suffer through the pretense of their LARPing being some type of stage production. In that regard, the actual LARPers are far superior to improv people because they don't force anyone else to suffer through their bullshit. Improv people are the dregs of the earth and should be shot, and I'm not being sarcastic. They do have something good to say so it'd be hard for me to actually pull the trigger so I don't know how I feel about them after all, maybe.
"Yes, and" in life is powerful. In real life, though, not in some torture chamber that houses improv people. If you "yes, and" anytime you receive an insult, the insult immediately loses power. In fact, the insult almost becomes a compliment if you don't mind kind of insulting compliments. Think of insults as constructive compliments and immediately agree with these observations. After all, that's kind of what an insult is, in a way. It's someone else's attempt to demean or belittle with a hurtful observation. Or, they're trying to get you to have some fun with them and it's always more engaging to insult first because it's an effective form of social testing.
Except, I've never thought of them as insults because of the above, but also because of the obvious... this is a polite way of describing shit talking. These are dumpster discussions and to trivialize what I do on a daily basis as anything less is insulting. Or, did I do like a clever thing there? Doubling down on what is clearly apparent and calling myself a suave shit talker instead of just some insulting idiot. Years ago, I was just some insulting idiot, and that statement is insulting to idiots everywhere. Though, I was. And now I do with purpose and grace what I used to do out of crassness and carelessness. Hence, my confident suave shit talking.
It's fun and it's what I do to pass the time sometimes. It's much better when I do it in fun with a smile than when I did it in anger with a frown. It also helps me determine the type of person I'm dealing with a lot faster than if I asked questions or if they just told me about themselves. I think most of a person's person hinges on how they react to the world, specifically pressure and jokes and laughter and everything that goes along with that I consider dumpster discussions. Maybe garbage dump gala is another term I should use, but I just thought of it and it's ... lacking. Not only all of the above, but it's a damn fine way of bonding with human beings. If you're into that sort of thing.
It can be aggressive or playful but it's almost always on and that makes me happy. The only thing that overrides this... whatever you want to call it. Suave shit talking. Dumpster discussing. The overriding thing is curiosity. It doesn't get turned off when I'm curious but it definitely takes a back seat. So all that stuff I said earlier about helping me determine things about a person goes out the window if the person is interesting. What I've described here is essentially a finely tuned system designed to keep out the mundane. Interesting and lively conversation step right this way, everything else is just filtered out. Maybe the whole thing is just a defense mechanism I've developed from the boredom of life in general. This is my strategy of living with other people and addressing the fact that I need to socialize.
Which is another interesting statement and I'm going to get into it right now since it's only 9 and I've plenty of energy today due to a mishap with the mail. This is actually a perfect spot for the media element for today and in lieu of a conclusion here since I just said I'm going to continue and will undoubtedly include one of those at the end.
First, this song is in Spanish and I think it's better that way. Sometimes I am too, joderlo. I used to be like this song but now I'm not. I mean, the drinking and the woman and the all of it, the whole thing. That's part of why I like it, a really big part, but there's also the fact that it's an amazing song and well worth a listen.
The postal problem was written simply as "DOGS 6/12" and it seems pretty self explanatory. There are dogs here and they were definitely here on 6/12. However, the dogs can't go near the mailbox or the front door, both of which have access to the street and both of which are places where I regularly find packages. I say this because I do have instructions for deliveries to go to the back where there's enough driveway and garages they don't need to exit their vehicle. I wasn't here, obviously, or I wouldn't have let anyone leave with my precious cargo, dogs or not. Maybe the dogs tried to hijack the truck and the driver had to blow this spot fast or else the dogs would steal all the mail?
I'm only kind of salty because the package in question was a subscription that I needed. It was a casein supplement and I was out as of Saturday morning. I was angry this weekend and I was confused and I ate so many carbs it makes me queasy to think of even now. I vomited a bit on Sunday because I tried to maintain my grams per day on Saturday with regular meat and it was ... disgusting. I am acknowledging here that this is one of those times where I'm being dramatic but it's all right. I'm a hurt woman, after all, so I'm allowed to be dramatic. I'm over it, now, but that's maybe only because it was delivered today. I changed my subscription to every two weeks now and that particular disaster should be permanently avoided now. This whole paragraph is loaded with issues that I'm aware of and I will circle back to eventually. I will say here that meat in general is not disgusting, it's normally delicious but it is disgusting when there's too much and it's greasier than a politician.
The package was successfully delivered today and I received an email about it after I'd agreed to lunch plans. I said fuck it and went with the lunch plans still and even drank a pepsi so I'm gonna be up way past midnight and this is gonna get kinda long, like my penis when I see your mom.
The other part of part 2 of this post is that I don't believe I need to socialize. I receive enjoyment from it but I feel no need for it and never really have. When I was younger I did it a lot more but now that I'm still younger I do it more selectively. It might have something to do with how I drank excessive amounts of alcohol over the better part of a decade and pushed away most of those close to me or it could have something to do with how I truly enjoy my alone time. I actually need it. I need time alone like an ice cube needs the cold. Without it, I cease to be me.
That need for solitude creeps in and convinces me I never need to socialize but I'm not sure how I'd do with that after my cats died. I guess I do socialize with them, if that's what you'd consider that though I don't since they're only ever half interested in what I have to say. Then, too, this time now is something I consider alone time and I'm not really alone if I'm writing since I'm writing with the knowledge of an audience. This isn't my secret diary that I want to keep secret forever, this is a thing with a pseudonym and I think it's a lousy one because I know I've been sloppy over the years so it might as well be something I share willingly. I also have to assume it'd be shared unwillingly eventually, if I ever was unwilling. I'm not though, even though I probably should be because some of this stuff is dicey, at best.
Then again, some of the stuff here was written as requested, so it's not entirely super sketchy and there's a lot of jewels to be found. I don't know why I keep certain posts up, I don't. I wrote them and I'm keeping them but not everything is entirely true, obviously. I've explained how much I used to drink and a lot of my more fucked up stuff happened then so my memory is a bit hazy on some stuff. That's part of why I keep some stuff here, so I don't forget any more of my more heinous side. And soon, so I don't forget any of my more awesome stuff. Though, admittedly there is much more of the former than the latter, which is a really sad thing to say but not that sad because I have a lot of high hopes for the future.
I don't know if I need to socialize but I want to, well, I wanted to until I tried it and got metaphorically punched in my dick. I was stabbed in my soul and now I'm a bit woozy still. I survived, that's important right? For my cats, at least. Not for me though, I need some of that solitude again before I melt too much and just float away this time. I remember recently saying something about how I don't have another winter in me, and I like that here with the ice cube idea because that's where I re-form when I need to, but I can still chill right here and form back up as long as I have my base intact. Right now, I definitely feel like I need to not socialize because I'm vulnerable like a hurt woman and I need to chill but I don't want to because I had a taste of another world.
I'm pretty glad I didn't do these little nuggets as their own thing because I didn't have a lot to say about them. Here's my conclusion for today and I've decided to include another song because I typed a bit more since the last time and I've since decided I have another gem to share. I wonder sometimes why I type this here. Do I want an audience? See above, or I guess see to the side or bottom for some of the older posts. It's a bit of a roller coaster but so is life. Should I shut this down and just go back to handwriting stuff in a notebook? These are legitimate questions I have (as opposed to rhetorical), I guess some of them only time can answer so we can just wait and see.
This song is good, this video is too cool, and so are you.
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