Last time, the people of the world tried to have nice things but they were too nice, suspiciously nice. This time we'll focus on Abram and his hot wife, Sarai and their misadventures with their nephew Lot.
Last time we ended a long listing of lineages with Abram. In Abram's Call and Migration, the lord said to Abram:
"Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father's house to a land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you."
So, he's got that going for him, at least. This is not the Dalai Lama saying this stuff, it's the same lord from the previous chapters that's been going pretty wild. This seems slightly different, perhaps more reserved? If you do this, I will do that. Of course you should be preparing yourself for some craziness, but not just yet.
Abram, being a very new character, could be just about any type of character at this point. Keep that in mind, but for now, he at least shows us that he is pious and dutiful. He takes his wife, their nephew, all their stuff, and their slaves east. First they travel through the lands of Canaan. On the way they see some sacred places, build a few altars, pitch some tents and generally just roam around. They stopped at a few more places and eventually made their way to Negeb.Unfortunately, after some time in Negeb, there was a serious famine. Abram took his squad on one more trip, this time to Egypt. The fertile Nile river would be sure to provide enough food in this time of famine in Negeb. On the way to Egypt, Abram stopped and said to his wife:
"I know well how beautiful a woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'She is his wife'; then they will kill me, but let you live. Please say, therefore, that you are my sister, so that it may go well with me on your account and my life may be spared for your sake."
This is a rough and tumble world these folks are living in and these are some tough and rumble rules for that world. This kind of makes sense, right? Keep in mind that Abram is traveling with his whole squad. That would probably be a large group of people with tents and camels and maybe horses and probably animals and definitely loads of slaves. Abram would more or less be responsible to care for all of these people. If the Egyptians saw he had a beautiful wife, they may decide she's so beautiful that it's worth killing him and his family for her. These bandits could then "transfer ownership" of his slaves, murder his family, and take his stuff in order to rape/take his wife. However, if they thought it was his sister, they could conceivably benefit more by some type of marriage alliance.
If they thought could arrange some mutually beneficial relationship, Abram could just keep the secret until interest passed or they were safely out of Egypt. The problem with this situation becomes quickly apparent because (sister) Sarai was too good looking. As soon as they made it to Egypt, everyone started talking and word quickly got to the Pharaoh.
The Pharaoh (presumably with the intention of wooing this beautiful woman) sent lavish gifts. There were herds of animals, flocks of bird, and more slaves than he could count. As a reader, at this point, you're really being led to believe that this is some type of ruse. It never explicitly states that Abram was pimping out his wife, but:
"The lord struck Pharaoh and his household with severe plagues because of Abram's wife Sarai. Then Pharaoh summoned Abram and said to him: 'How could you do this to me? Why didn't you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say 'She is my sister,' so that I took her for my wife? Here, then, is your wife. Take her [long pause] ... and be gone!'"
I added the emphasis there, but I don't think it was needed.
Is Abram the bible's first pimp? Did Sarai get out of pocket? Was monogamy not a thing at this time? What really confused me in this chapter was the piety Abram was showing on his journeys on the way to Egypt by making altars and visiting sacred places. Now, Abram and Lot are getting fat and living the high life in their tent somewhere while Sarai makes all the money for the family.
I don't personally see anything wrong with sex work. If you do what you love, you won't work a day in your life, right? Though the sneakiness of Abram's pimp game is what took me off guard. He rolls enough slaves and goods off the Pharaoh that god notices and decides to intervene. Earlier, the lord said he'd curse those who cursed Abram and then he struck the Pharaoh with "severe plagues" which sounds a lot like a curse.
What's interesting is that it seems like this "curse" is entirely a scheme cooked up by Abram on the way to Egypt. Abram decided to pimp his wife, god caught Sarai with the Pharaoh, and I'm assuming that Abram is just following along in his ancestor's footsteps and decided to snitch and lie about the situation. If god knew Abram had pimped out Sarai to the Pharaoh, he might not have cursed the Pharaoh so severely. However, if Abram told god that the Pharaoh had stolen his wife, then it seems more like a reasonable response.
I realize I'm trying to rationalize the irrational, or whatever, but this is the story I'm given.
Next time, with his wife back, Abram travels with his nephew on more misadventures.
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