happy arbor (trees!) day

"Why are there trees I never walk under but large and melodious thoughts descend upon me?" ~Walt Whitman

Today is Arbor Day! It's a holiday celebrating the significance of trees! In Pennsylvania they honor the great Eastern Hemlock, not to be confused with the Greek Hemlock which Socrates sipped on back in the day after the Athenians told him to go kill himself. In Japan this day is called "Greenery Day" and it's celebrated in May, but I have to assume something is lost in translation because that name is just stupid. The great dane is the official state dog of Pennsylvania* and this state celebrates Arbor Day on the last Friday in April. The second to last Friday in April, this year, was the national stoner day or whatever it's officially called, 4/20. Perhaps it ought to be called "Greenery Day". Anyhow, there's a great smoke-out on the lawn of Colorado University's Boulder campus every year for that event (whatever we're going to call it) and in order to deter the massive crowd this year, the school actually fertilized the lawn with fish guts. I imagine the sweet stank of thousands of marijuana sticky icky cigarettes would most likely prevail in a battle of the stinky with some lawn fertilizer, but I can't be sure because I don't do drugs.**

Some science: trees metabolize energy using a process called photosynthesis, they turn waste air (CO2) into fresh, clean oxygen. Celebrate this fact, it is what makes trees significant. That and natural beauty.

In honor of the day for trees I suggest an alternative. In the name and significance of the season, any green plant would probably suffice to plant in the spirit of Arbor Day so why not plant marijuana seeds? I imagine a Johnny Marijuanaseed strolling across this great nation with his bag full of myriad seed strains popping seed after seed all over the country side. Over the hill and through the wood there'd be a trail of marijuana plants from coast to coast. By the time the authorities found out those seeds would have grown to weeds and those weeds would spread too far to ever cut back into check. A hippy's dream is an America with the most purple of the purple bud growing on the side of the road. Feeling a little under the weather on your morning commute? Just pull over, pick some pot and burn it up, you'll feel much better in a couple minutes.***

*Just found this out recently, I've been thinking of getting a Great Dane because you can basically saddle one of them up and ride it around terrorizing the small kids in the neighborhood or just play some polo like a real country gentleman. Either way, it's something fun to mention "by the way fella, you can go fuck off because the dog that just took a man-sized shit on your driveway is the state dog".

**I get high on life, be serious.

***If you're into that sort of thing.