constraints of concerns

 Lately, I've been putting these down like a bed ridden octogenarian with osteoporosis playing whack a mole at the local arcade. With hands like butter, fresh from the freezer, I strike true but few. I'd like to say I've been excessively busy living life to the fullest, but it's just been more of the same. Or has it?

Does it matter? I've struggled with the concept of anti-progress in the past, even wrote about it a few months ago here. Movement solely with the purpose of movement, eventually being forced to make actual progress at some point but essentially wasting time in the here and now. 

And wasting time is the worst thing there is, right? Well, that was a bit rhetorical, or at least a little more complicated than I used to think.

 

Presence is all that matters in this instance. Or, that's the conclusion I've come to, at this time. The physical exertion of a vigorous cardio exercise can serve as the means to the end or the end itself. If I run 3 miles in 30 minutes, that's a half hour of a decent heart rate and an opportunity to take in the scents and sounds of the neighborhood. It's a chance to think, too. I can zone all that out and look inward. Metaphorically, of course, because I'd still need to look downward from time to time because of the forward motion.

Whenever I hear someone say "it's not about the destination, it's about the journey", I always think "what an asshole". Are these people saying they would prefer to take in their surroundings while they journey and ignore the destination? That's absurd because why did you start the journey in the first place? 

This is a bumbling attempt to justify distractions, for the most part. As such, it's great. You should remember to take a look around because if you're not aware of your surroundings, you're gonna fall for booby traps. Every time, that's how they get you.

Ideally, when we're in the moment, none of this matters because it all happens at the same time. If I run like I should, wholly immersed in the activity without any preconceptions about what I want out of the ordeal, then it all flows together. I can get the clarity of mind I'm searching for while experiencing the neighborhood and getting my blood pumping. 

It's not about focusing on the run, it's about un-focusing on everything else. Taking the worries of the future and allowing them to stay there while also keeping the past safely behind me. I can exist for a few moments free of the constraints of concerns. 

This type of weird mojo is not something that happens immediately. It was many miles before I first encountered what I initially thought of as "runner's high", which should not be confused with regular high. I actually recommend both, at the same time, for the fullest effect. 

However, I have since become convinced that it's not a "runner's" high at all, but something closer to a "zen moment". Maybe? I guess that's the best way to describe it. At any rate, I think it happens a lot more often when humans run because humans were basically designed to run. It's easiest to get lost in the flow of the universe when you're doing something your body naturally wants to do. 

It can happen any time, but it's most noticed because of the perceived loss of time. Which, in circling back around, is kind of the point I wanted to make. Losing time isn't the same as wasting time, and losing time in the moment doing whatever it is that helps you lose yourself, is never wasted. It's about presence and mindset.