Much like houseplants, people need just a few things to live. Air, water, sunlight, dirt, etc. The necessities of life are those that are needed for continued survival. Seems pretty obvious, but a lot of stuff around here does at first. After water and oxygen, humans' immediate and constant needs are met. Food is necessary but it's not an immediate concern and I think there are plenty of benefits to fasting periodically.
We eventually need to eat, but the human body is capable of going without food for a long time. The problem with this scenario is that it's unpleasant. If we only have our needs met, that's a bleak and dreary existence. That's a survival scenario and it sounds shitty so I'd recommend also including some of our desires into your everyday equation as well. The things we want can bring quality to simply surviving.
I could sleep outside and eat food I find in the woods, like some kind of man-bear or bear-man, foraging for food and just seeing what shakes loose. Maybe steal some honey and picnic baskets, who knows? Then sleep in a cave or somewhere. Maybe get a fire going and start the next day doing the same thing and then eventually just sleep through the winter. Now that I describe it like that, seems kind of desirable but that's not what I mean by needs and wants.
Humans are kind of unique in the animal world because we can actually convince ourselves that some wants are actually needs and operate with additional survival requirements. It's truly amazing what humans are capable of sometimes. This can manifest itself in extreme acts of willpower and personal strength. It can also describe a child throwing a tantrum at the supermarket because they can't have some candy they desire. The problem with this ability is when we have to decide what's needed and what's simply wanted.
Consider sacrificial acts, like when a mother dies protecting her offspring. This is why we're only kind of unique, because most animals have some sort of instinctual fight response when it comes to protecting their children. Essentially, there is an additional element at play here that overrides the self preservation need we have for survival because it becomes a need to preserve our genes. For the most part this is true, but I think this notion here is what I'm keying into with the human ability to change these instincts.
There are mothers and fathers out there that abandon their children. There are also adoptive parents that would die for their children, even though they're not genetically theirs. This is a good example of a malleable need/want because it is basically something everyone can relate to in one way or another. Love, as always, is the ephemeral element missing or abundant in these scenarios.
Love (whatever the fuck it is) or the lack thereof, is the difference between a mother abandoning her child or overburdening it with affection. It can mean taking in some orphan off the streets and dying in some dramatic knife fight protecting them later on. This would probably take place in the last scene of some movie loosely based on some Victorian era English asshole's childhood.
Another consideration for the equation of needs and wants, is of course, willpower. That's the ultimate arbiter, deciding at the end how we will react to the emotional calculus of split second decisions. If a juicy donut magically appeared before you and it was cutting season, what would you do? I would personally avoid any magical foodstuffs, but I've read too many fantasy novels over the years to be foolish enough to fall for such obvious deceptions. It's cutting season for me so I say no to regular donuts as well, though sometimes I shamefully eat graham crackers with my cats. The former happens far more often than the latter so I feel good about myself while I know I'm weak sometimes even though I think I love myself.
Either the interplay between willpower and love is complicated here or I'm just neurotic, but I'd like to think it's a little of both. In an actual split second decision, the emotional calculus weighing needs and wants is immediate. You're already acting before you can think about what you're actually doing. Sometimes this can mean the love side of the equation is too strong, so it outweighs any willpower or self preservation you may have. This can also happen when people are full of hate or anger or other bad emotions, which is why I've been calling this emotional calculus because with humans there are so many more variables than merely survival and survival of our genes.
Think about the mother that abandons her child because she's addicted to heroine. The baby is fucked up too and he winds up in the NICU and has to wear a helmet for a while, but now he seems like a great kid. Was there even an emotion there for the calculus to include? Physical addiction can be a hurdle here, but there were normally a series of poor actions and decisions that led to the physical addiction.
If I were to say that I've lost 50 pounds, some people would think "wow, what an accomplishment". What about the sorrows and sadness that led me there in the first place? Maybe that statement would be an indicator of two addictions, or two false needs, where the emotional calculus is off and there's something wrong driving the math. There was an addiction to alcohol that led me there and I'm fairly certain at this point I've become addicted to health.
In that scenario, the series of poor actions and decisions that led to the physical addiction were none because I wasn't physically addicted to anything so maybe I'm just way off. False need is a good way to describe some of these things that get in the way of doing the right kind of decision making. I feel like I'm on the path to proper decisions now but I struggle with saying the past was so filled with wrong decisions. I'm me because of that stuff and I think I'm fucking great. I also think I'm a fucking monster. It's complicated and it's all acceptance and zero intentional improvements.
Even while I've had a singular desire driving me over the last year: "get big like The Rock", life still creeps in. Living in the moment and working out 50+ hours a week can occasionally be at odds with each other. Over the last year I've discovered a lot about myself, habits, needs, desires, and all that shit. If you spend enough time doing something, it'll eventually get too easy. You need to constantly struggle if you want to improve noticeably. If you come across a mountain of sand you can take it easy and get the tweezers out and take each individual grain out of your way or you can grab a shovel and get at it. The smart person would simply go around, but that's not my way.
I think the point of all these ramblings today is that it's important to think about the things that drive you. What is it that you want and what is it that you need? Since it's possible to change some wants to needs, why not try that? Make it your singular focus and see what happens. If you're not starting out at the basement bottom of hell, you have a much shorter climb to ascend to the heights of heaven. Metaphorically, of course, since maybe you don't think those places exist. I think it's useful terminology and it's important to use what works. I also think I am on the cusp of needing a new singular focus because life will just creep in anyways.
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