A lifetime or two ago, much like any young man, I used to aspire to philosophical ideals. I thought that there was wisdom in the words of the old ones, maybe? I was old enough to realize most of the older ones in my life up to that time were at least 95% full of shit so I had to search elsewhere. Maybe, those timeless classics could tell me some tale. The really old ones: the cynics, the stoics, and the candlestick makers.
It was an opportune time for such searching as I was in college and had ample books to read and an open schedule to fill. I chose my classes in school more for interesting topics and afternoon openings than any kind of academic plan. At some point later in life I realized that philosophy professors did mostly the same kind of scheduling so there were few personality conflicts and consequently, I attended a lot of those classes.
I really enjoyed that semester. All of my classes were in the building directly across the street from my dormitory and none of them started before noon. It was the perfect setup to drink as much as I wanted, every night! And yet, I didn't. I drank alcohol, I just didn't give in to the excesses. Maybe because I realized I'd made the perfect setup for functional alcoholism and I didn't like what I'd done or maybe because I was actually enjoying myself. Either way, looking back now, it was objectively the best time I had for the whole five years.
My most favorite and objectively the most righteous of the old ones was Diogenes. He was the guy that listened to Plato describe a man one day as a featherless biped and thought it was so fucking stupid he plucked the feathers off a chicken, came back and in front of a crowd of Plato's peers shouted "BEHOLD! A MAN!" Accounts of the event conflict but I imagine he then looked disapprovingly at Plato and just shook his head. Personally, I would have aggressively added "You're so fucking stupid" before walking out, but that's just like some kind of weird power move thing I do sometimes.
Diogenes was occasionally a piece of shit though, so that's why he's not super popular. He was snarky and sarcastic but only because he wanted you to see wisdom. He was like a House, M.D. for the philosophical and political world at the time. He told you exactly what you needed to hear in a way that was somehow also kind of a personal attack. Almost dismissive, like you're so stupid to even be having this problem, but fine, he'll help you because he's so kind but then he says something purposely designed to hurt your feelings. I believe even Alexander the Great sought out his wisdom, he was so well respected but also no one really knew what to do with him. He would shit in the middle of conversations in the street. There was a ton of stuff he did, and I'm leaving this like this so that maybe you as a reader will look into it.
He was wise and gave zero fucks. He also lived in a wine barrel. But, one of those ginormous ones. He slept with some dog friends he made on the streets and ate whatever he could find or barter. He didn't live in the woods like a crazy person should, he lived right there in everyone's face. When anyone came along to give him a hard time he'd embarrass them with words or convince them to leave him alone. He was a homeless wizard gypsy.
Naturally, I feel a little like he's my spirit animal. Or maybe I'm his, or maybe not. I don't shit in the streets, one time I got shit in the sheets but that was when I was in the cups. I think if you want to get to know someone better, you ought to look into what influences them. Diogenes probably most of all, but certainly all of the words and all of the thoughts I'd read that year had an effect on me. I finally keyed into something that made sense.
These guys (admittedly this was a kind of sexist time of our history when it comes to philosophy) really made me feel better about myself. It's fine to spend time in your head, spend time alone. Live in a fucking wine barrel and shit in the streets, maybe? Just write down what's in your head so that you don't have to keep it there. Get it out, tell the world what you think even though it seems so boring to some people. They don't have to read it and they don't have to listen to it. People don't have to like you or what you say. That's one of the first steps in vigorous discourse, healthy competition. If you think the person you're debating against is an asshole, you're going to try that much harder to win the argument. This was the birthplace of western thought and it made me feel comfortable to know that they all just copied off each other or argued with each other and made petty points to contradict one another. In this spirit of competition came some of the most beautiful and true ideas we've ever known. They hold true today just as they did then, and I think it's mostly because there were others to call bullshit when it needed to be called and though they may have done it for petty reasons at times, the result was still magnificent.
I'm not a philosopher even though I kind of made a philosophy. It's just a combination of how I've learned to deal with loss, hold on to love, and give few fucks. But also, most importantly, to laugh. It's like part Diogenes, part Siddhartha, all of existentialism, with a smattering of nihilism and romanticism. Spirited, but not too spiritual. There's some ghoulish shit in this world, fantasy has nothing on the reality. But there's also some of the most beautiful things imaginable that fantasy can't even come close.
When you see these extremes, it helps you appreciate the everyday. It also helps you see the wondrous magnificence of the universe everyday. Stop, close your eyes, just appreciate the sun's warmth on your face. You're alive, most of the people that have ever lived can't do the same. Because they're dead. Hold a pretty girl's hand while you can, look deep in her eyes and ask if she'll kiss you. Or a guy, it's 2021 after all. Or vice versa. Look deep into their soul, intensely if you can. Only if you're not going to hurt anyone.
Not everyone has a nightmarish past. Not everyone has multiple instances where they've almost died. A lot have worse and more and almost all of my shit came from my own stupidity. I might be a monster, that's an on-going series here with more to come, just not today. One of the ways this philosophy of mine guides my thoughts and actions today is that singular notion: "Do no harm". Which, of course, I interpret as "Do more good than harm" but I still try not to hurt anyone too much. I can be an aggressive asshole that just stumbles through life shitting in the streets, metaphorically, of course. Or, I can be the me I am today and the me I want to be tomorrow. Better, and not a disaster that destroys everything good in his life.
But also, I still spend more time with me than anyone else and that will never change. Even Siamese twins have their own dreams. My point, the topic of this post, is that part of me likes essentially living in a garage. In a tent, in a garage, with my cats. When you take into consideration how I feel about the creatures that saved my life, it makes more sense. But, I hear criticisms about my choice to live in a tent in the garage. I live on the second story in my garage and I have a perfectly good bedroom in the house where two dogs sleep sometimes. Maybe it's weird, but what I think is weird is that I haven't hung some drywall yet. The canvas is for separation from work and relaxation but it would be better with finished walls and wall to wall carpeting instead of a 10'x14' foot tent that doubles as a cat chalet. I could even install one of those wall things cats like to climb. I just have shelves now, they climb on those but they shouldn't because there's all kinds of stuff that could easily go elsewhere and those shelves should be filled with books. Instead of moving into the house to "normalize" my lifestyle, I'll simply bring more comforts to the space I like instead of trying to shape one I don't.
That's all, more to come with possible pictures. Eventually a before and after, for certain. But this is the post script here. I used to include a lot of media here and maybe I should do that again, but here's a great song with a funny intro that kind of captures the mood of this whole thing here.
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