Notes on the Bible (Gen 13-14) Abram loses Lot

 Where we'd left off last time, god brought down a plague on the Pharaoh because Abram was pimping his wife. Abram is now forced to return to Negeb, where the famine has presumably subsided and word has yet to reach everyone about how Sarai was the Pharaoh's courtesan for a while.

After all those shenanigans in Egypt and some kind of walk of shame back to Negeb, the gang wanders back further along the route they'd originally traveled. They stop again at the altar they made near Bethel before they finally realized they'd gotten too rich in Egypt.

Abram got so rich off his wife's work that he was able to give his nephew slaves and flocks and herds and whatever else the Pharaoh saw fit to send to his new girlfriend's pimp. They had so many herds and flocks that their respective shepherds were fighting too much over all the animals. Abram decided there was too much strife in their groups while there was so much land available. The gang finally breaks up, Abram allowing Lot to choose in which direction he traveled. They parted ways and I assume they had a big party and hopefully Lot thanked his aunt before he went on towards the lands of (wicked) Sodom and Abram went off towards Canaan. We won't see Lot again for a while, but he'll be back later.

Notes on the Bible (Gen 12) Abram the Pimp

 Last time, the people of the world tried to have nice things but they were too nice, suspiciously nice. This time we'll focus on Abram and his hot wife, Sarai and their misadventures with their nephew Lot.

 Last time we ended a long listing of lineages with Abram. In Abram's Call and Migration, the lord said to Abram:

"Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father's house to a land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you."

So, he's got that going for him, at least. This is not the Dalai Lama saying this stuff, it's the same lord from the previous chapters that's been going pretty wild. This seems slightly different, perhaps more reserved? If you do this, I will do that. Of course you should be preparing yourself for some craziness, but not just yet.

Notes on the Bible (Gen 10-11) Tower of Babel

On the last episode, there was a flood and some unflattering character analysis. This time, we're going to look deeply into chaos.

Chapter 10 in the book of Genesis is called Table of the Nations. It is a listing with few details about the direct descendants of Noah and their genealogical and social lineages. It talks about which children settled where and what they called these places. A lot of these people get discussed in chapter 11 as well. 

There was "Nimrod, a mighty hunter by the grace of the lord" who ruled over a large territory that included Babylon and Shinar. Supposedly, there's a lot more information available about him in texts not included in the bible, but he's relevant here because it is thought that during his reign the tower of Babel was constructed. 

Notes on the Bible (Gen 7-9) The Flood

 On the last segment of our story, there was drama and murder. In this segment, there will be a watery apocalypse for nearly every living being on earth.

I decided to break up chapter 7 into two parts because they seemed to be dealing with two different topics, though related. The world had devolved into some sort of hedonistic angel orgy that was no longer acceptable, the justification seems to be not much other than the ominous wickedness inherent in the humans at the time. This wickedness was enough to start over so Noah was instructed to build a great big boat. Misplaced blame seems to be a common theme so far, killing all the mortals because the lesser gods decided to come around and start an orgy seems a little like victim blaming.

I'd like to think that the specifics involved with constructing an "ark" were necessary to the circumstances surrounding the impending cataclysmic flood, but it's most likely because whoever wrote it had never built a great big boat before. The ark was to be made from gopher wood and built to exact dimensions and it would have looked ridiculous. Design aesthetics were not taken into consideration because this was a life saving vessel.

Notes on the Bible (Gen 4-7) Cain and Abel

 Where we last left off in the good book, God had made a nice garden for his new pet people (among other things) and then some drama happened. It's kind of how any situation with new pets goes, right? You lay down the guidelines, but they don't necessarily understand everything you're telling them. They're fresh from the pound and everything is all new and who knows if they can even understand you?

I think it's also like any new roommates situation. There's a brief honeymoon phase until someone gets into someone else's cookie jar, doesn't replace the cookies, and then shit hits the fan. God kicked everyone out because they had stolen his cookies, metaphorically. Or maybe it would be figuratively.