this too shall pass

Because I have loser friends that won't tape their embarrassing moments and post them to the youtubes, I'm "forced" to post this:

You may have seen it, you may have not. Either way, it's worth a watchin'.

elevating ourselves

The strange device picture above is called an "elevator". These alien machines have been around for quite some time, first introduced by the Alpha-Draconians from the planet Gliese 581g around the time of the Han Dynasty in China. These "lifts" as they used to be called were quickly put into widespread use and became quite popular among those lazy Chinese. Later these strange machines would be adopted by the rest of the world but the first instance of their widespread use in a culture was among the Chinese, because they're devious and lazy. The basic theory behind the device is that an object (people, supplies, bags of dildos, etc...) can be placed inside and then transported vertically (or horizontally though that technology is limited to the Wonka chocolate factory, if you'd like to learn more about that you should check out the chocolatier's documentary "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory")  to another level of the building in which they are housed. They are not just limited to buildings, either. When Sir Billy Zane and his squire Leo "the hater" DiCaprio made their famous assault on the Titanic, they actually rode in an elevator before taking the helm and promptly wrecking the ship into an ice-berg before they could "plunder that booty."

Even though these mystical devices have been around for eons, I feel as if they're new to some people. Every day at work, I ride an elevator. I work on the second floor, but it's early when I arrive and I'm kind of lazy myself (much like the Chinese). I'd expect riding an elevator to be a miraculous occurrence for some folks in sub-Saharan Africa, but to the average "Pitts-Burger" it ought to be a normal thing, right?

morning chat with my mom

javier nelson