Top five reasons not to go out on a Thursday night.
Reason #5
Everyone knows about Fox's The O.C. whether they love it or hate, people tend to have an opinion on it. Personally, I think it's one of the best new shows out there. The characters are easy to relate to with their incredible wealth and private schools, I feel like I could fit right in. It's warm where they are in sunny socal, which is what I wish it were here (present circumstances aside) all the time. They've had gun fights and girl fights, fist fights and a fuckin killer soundtrack. The O.C. is on at 9 on Thursday nights and is one hell of a reason to stay in.
Reason #4
Masturbate! Jesus christ, you can't possibly make it all week without gettin' one off. Shootin' one out. [Whatever euphemism you like to use.] Lord knows there is no reason to not take an entire block of 8 hours or so Thursday evening to late night Thursday just punching the old fiddle stick time after time. You rub about 76 out and you'll be sleeping like a baby, ready for the weekend and rested like a champ.
Reason #3
Speaking of rest, what day is better than Thursday to stay in and re-charge for the weekend. The Wednesday hump day is over and the downhill slide is upon you, use Thursday night to stay one step ahead of the game and go into Friday super ready to get smashtaplasteredwastedrunkshithoused all over the place. Thursday night's rest will give you that extra push you need when it's 1AM at the bar and the only prospect for you to get any action is that 700 LB monster tard at the end of the bar. Go ahead, grab a bag of flour and just aim for the wet spot.
Reason #2
You're not going to like me when I'm angry. Or at least that's what this Thursday had to say with The Hulk on USA. I've found that cable channels tend to put better movies on towards the end of the week than they do at the beginning. I guess this is an attempt at seeing a hike in the ratings, but it's better than buying that movie or renting it at blockbuster. I mean, hell, waiting for a movie to come out for sale is just a few months from waiting for it to come out somewhere on cable lately. And for those of you who have digital cable, you can even get some of the movies there before they even come out for sale. Also porn. Rent some softcore porn on a Thursday night and spank it. Go back and read Reason #4 for more info on this subject. It's still a great idea.
Reason #1
I like to go out on Thursday nights. So if I can convince a few people to stay in on Thursday nights and they can convince a few and so on and so forth, I can get some better service at whichever establishment I choose to go to because there will be less loser, like you, mucking up the works. So for my enjoyment and your own good to read more top five lists in the future, stay your ass at home and jerk it or whatever. Double click your mouse, you know, whatever it is kids call it these days.
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