a letter to a creditor

 

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3rd of july (part 1)

Kevin was basically an average kid. He lived in the suburbs, had his group of friends, held down a part time job, and liked to have a good time just like anyone else. He was a stereotypical high school senior: high school was boring, he and his parents didn't always get along, and he occasionally experimented with drugs and alcohol. He didn't chug vodka or freebase pills or cocaine but he did enjoy a bit of fun from time to time.

Kevin and his friends decided they were going to throw a party at Ryan's place because his parents had gone to Las Vegas for the 4th of July weekend. That year, the 3rd of July was going to be the night to remember. Everyone had functions and fireworks to attend the following day so all of the fixins' were prepared and ready for consumption on the 3rd of July. Nick's older brother had bought the group 2 cases of malted liquor, a twelve pack of Smirnoff ice ("for the ladies" Reggie would say) and an assortment of flavored Bacardi rum bottles. These boys didn't make the most masculine of drink choices but they did know how to get drunk. In addition to the liquids, Reggie intended on taking a "big bag of weed" and his "two most favoritest pipes".

Reggie was very proud of his pipes and bongs and assorted "paraphernalia". His two favorites were "America, The Pipe" so named for its patriotic coloring and "Aunt Jemima", a three foot water bong complete with ice catcher and a "bubbler" in the stem. She was as brown and curvy as her syrupy namesake and Reggie's adoration for her sometimes made the uninitiated a little nervous. Kevin found Reggie with Aunt Jemima when he got to Ryan's house that afternoon.

Kevin- Starting early, Reg?
Reggie- Shut the fuck up dude, you used to be cool. Eat dicks.
Kevin- Thanks bro, love you!
Reggie- Love you too

turkey take-backs and bikinis

 

 

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little more handsy than usual

 

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as for the stars, they're only somewhat aligned

All treats should be like scooby snacks. They're a perfect blend of ambiguous ingredients and exotic flair. Hold on, wait a minute, what is a scooby snack? The beauty of scooby snacks is that they're whatever you make them. Scooby snacks are never clearly defined in scooby doo canon so I feel justified declaring this juicy morsel as a scooby snack for your ears as we drift out here in the expanded universe of the doo.

I write this on a phone so pardon the lack of fancy formatting or pretty paragraphing or however the english majors are styling style these days. Pouring creative fluids into something productive or practical seems a better way to pass the time on your phone than re-re-reading epic fantasy novels and lurking on forums to catch up on the latest theories about what's going to happen to everyone's favorite lord commander of the night's watch in the next book.

Fascinating though it may be, I learned my lesson when it comes to the anticipation of an upcoming event of great importance long ago, and what seems like galaxies away. I was a subscriber to the star wars insider magazine as a youngster all throughout the highly anticipated prequel movies. I grew up watching the empire strikes back on rainy afternoons. Return of the jedi, normally shortly thereafter. My teenaged tumescence was luminescent at the thought of new stories about jedis and stuff.

Then the movies came out and I saw the light fade away along with the engorgement of my member. This was a real fine taste of a series of future disappointments that life would throw my way but I eventually wiped away the tears and put my shirt back on and left the cinema lobby. I survived. I lived. Most importantly, I learned.

Learned though I may have, the lesson never really stuck quite the way it should. I experienced those future disappointments and now I'm here. That's a gross oversimplification of events and yet there it stands.

New chapters of a favorite book can be released on a random basis and you can spend countless hours making inside jokes on who's secretly related to who(m?) or you can get a grip and pop a couple of whatever your favorite scooby snacks may be and go write some words about stuff on the internets.

"Frivolous, speculation is, when patience will reveal all." -Yoda *mic drops*