...approaches dressed strangely in an orange vest. In his hand is a metal staff that holds the power of the gods. He unleashes it in your direction and you wince. You're confused but instinct kicks in and you start to run from the noise. There's a warmth in your shoulder suddenly swelling into a blaze of searing pain. You stumble but continue running away, fear now driving your every move. Fear now making you forget nearly everything other than get away, get back to your den to safety! It is starting to hurt when as you breathe when you hear the thunder go off once more before you finally heave into the ground.
The wizard approaches slowly. He notices you're still alive, still holding out, and raises his staff at you. The wizard lets loose the thunder before everything fades to black.
You're a bear. The wizard was a hunter. The staff was a gun and a hunter just killed you. All you were after was a bit of the whatever was giving off those alluringly sweet scents that compelled you into that luckless clearing. It was the most delicious meal you'd ever tasted and you consumed your bounty greedily, unaware of the hunter watching from nearby. He must have camouflaged the vile smell of blood-lust in his heart as he lay waiting for you to enjoy your last meal.
The bloodthirsty hunter that made an orphan of your cubs had the decency to at least let you enjoy a bar of sweet chocolate before he ended your life as surely as he ended the poor cubs back in your den. You had only gone out to get whatever it was so sweet smelling because you knew it would give you the energy to get your cubs through the winter. Now they'll die a worse death than you at the hands of that savage that was only looking to mount your head on his basement wall.
That hunter had more decency than the
New Hampshire Fish and Game Commission. They voted recently to ban the hunters of their state from using chocolate as bear bait.
Bears love chocolate. Bears love all sweet things. Bears especially love honey*.
What will the New Hampshire Fish and Game Commission ban next? Honey?
Bear snacks?
* Or "Hunny"
You're a bear. The wizard was a hunter. The staff was a gun and a hunter just killed you. All you were after was a bit of the whatever was giving off those alluringly sweet scents that compelled you into that luckless clearing. It was the most delicious meal you'd ever tasted and you consumed your bounty greedily, unaware of the hunter watching from nearby. He must have camouflaged the vile smell of blood-lust in his heart as he lay waiting for you to enjoy your last meal.
Bears love chocolate. Bears love all sweet things. Bears especially love honey*.
No comments:
Post a Comment