Every Tuesday, iTunes or Apple or some guy sends me the new music email and I learn that such and such Indie rocker group has a new album out. That this band or that band has their newest release out and why I should buy it, preferably off iTunes. I imagine there is an email that would inform me about all the new, hip movies that come out on whatever day of the week they come out. My question is this: is there an email that would let me know what new, hardcore-blow-your-load-all-over-some-titties, girls-fucking-animals, hot porno?
Sometimes when I drink (read: sometimes, but only when I drink) I get a craving for some Taco Bell. Since the taco gods (no relation to Pussylia, the greek god of vagina) chose to take away the Taco Bell mere miles from my home. My only poor service, "good-to-go", greasy taco action alternative is to drive to the other side of the world. It may not seem that way to some, but to someone who is often more than 'slightly inebriated,' it can make the difference between a stop-off on my way home and a harrowing race down the parkway.
I manage to make it to the Taco Bell every time I set out for Taco Bell, so all is well.
One of the cool things about the Travel Channel is that one show that talks about all the cool, secret, fun things to do in whatever city you're in. Some good places to eat, some sweet adventuring spots or whatever. There's gotta be a lot of money in that kind of advice, I figure there's a piece of that pie that I could get hold of because I have the best piece of advice for anyone ever.
When you go to the Taco Bell, go to the one near the porno shop. I always get drive-thru and eat it in my car as I watch the late night patrons to the local pornery. I find myself asking questions like the first one, about the new releases in the porno industry. Releases as in video tapes, not the other kind, the sexual releases.
