mycology: super simple stuff?

No. Mycology or the study of mushrooms and fungi is ridiculously complicated. Here are some screenshots of my recent "office find".

Written by: Javier Nelson

hi google

This is a series of Google suggestions sparked by the above screenshot.

Stop what?

Everyone dies at the end of One Tree Hill, I had heard.

Maybe this question should have been directed at Google maps.

One letter difference makes all the difference.

Ayn Rand!

"Grant" is apparently a ghost hunter.

I don't really think I would want to work for you, maybe though, how much does it pay?

Written by: Javier Nelson

fanny pack friday

Allow me to first preface this with what may be a bias (I'm not sure) but basically, I think fanny packs are for losers. I understand how useful they can be at times and I've certainly worn one on more than a few occasions. Occasions such as: camping, long runs, and yes, maybe even a day spent at a theme park. However, losers where them to work. Or super nerds. I just walked past a fella wearing one walking into my office building. Loser, right?

I'm not so sure anymore: you see, it was a camouflage fanny pack with a drink holster. Naturally, I stopped him and said "boss fanny pack, bro" but immediately after, I started questioning my sarcasm. It was a pretty boss fanny pack. It had at least two pouches, the "beer" holster and a few clips for keys and assorted things. The volume of the fanny pack was pretty impressive as well, as far as fanny packs go: he could probably fit two half-pint bottles of liquor in there with room to spare for garnishes and knives.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: fanny packs can be useful. I own more than one myself. I will not tell you the exact number for fear of being labeled a "loser" or "super nerd" by some spiteful/wrathful person such as myself but I do own more than one fanny pack. One of them is a super manly soft leather pack, the only thing making it "uncool"* is the image of mickey mouse**.

This "bro" I saw this morning, with his glorious disdain for normal fashion sense, was no normal "bro" at all. He was a middle-aged mustachioed gentleman with aforementioned fanny pack slung low on his left hip and a beer gut, with a form fitting t-shirt to cover his rippling "pecs", see the above picture***. This gentleman also walked with a swagger, but then again, who wouldn't when dressed like that?

The question has now been brought to the table: Are fanny packs finally cool again? Were they ever cool? Are they now suddenly "fashionable" once more?

Yes, a resounding yes!

*Aside from the obvious fanny pack-ishness of said fanny pack.

**I had a "strange" childhood.

***Staged re-enactment.

Written By: Javier Nelson

analytics analysis

So, how do folks find this great website, other than my own tiresome spam efforts and sneakiness? About 11% of all visitors actually come here using "organic" search. Meaning, they perform a google search and then click on one of the pages. Here's what they were actually looking for:

I won't share all of them but these are just a few of my "favorites".

Donna Summer died earlier this year, not Diana Ross. At least, I just checked and no news is out there right *now* that she's dead. She could be, I'm just saying I'm not aware of her death at the time of this posting.

The more you know...

+Javier Nelson

happy birthday, america (you old bitch)

This week will mark the 236th birthday of America. In case you were wondering, that makes her an old bitch. Not necessarily old in the "geriatric holed up in a nursing home waiting to die" kind of way (though some would make this argument) but old in the "you oughta know better" kind of way. Countries age differently than people, not unlike dogs in this respect but in the opposite direction. America, at 236, is finally like a young adult with young adult problems. Books (tomes, really) have been written on this topic and I will not get into it at this time as it has "been done" practically to death. Think of all those politicians that get elected simply because they've got the loudest voice when condemning the problems plaguing this great nation, on the other hand, timorous me just critiques (same as they) without the desire for political power. You can just get on a soapbox nowadays and gripe and whine until someone elects you to office just so you'll shut up and stop decrying the problems in our great nation.

With this said, America oughta know better when it comes to her grocery stores. The great grocery store has become an American way of life unto itself, it's the bounty of the harvest in an easily digestible format. You can even go to the grocery store and pay for your own groceries (only in certain neighborhoods) with a credit card. Some places actually trust you to PAY for all that stuff in your cart ON YOUR OWN! You can just walk in and without any cash/money, walk out with food aplenty. You're encouraged to pay, but you're monitoring yourself. Who's that honest? Got food stamps? They accept those too, but they're not stamps anymore either, they're on a card. Swipe your card with imaginary money and walk out with real food. If that's not the dream of our founding fathers, I can't imagine what it could possibly be.